My Very NinthNewsletter

Hey all. PSA. If you’re planning your wedding, take note that you’re not the first couple in the world to get married.  We are excited for you, yes!  But not so excited that we want to hire a wardrobe consultant because of your plans for your instagram feed. I promise you everyone will like it, no matter what anyone is wearing.  Not everyone has a comfy pair of cowboy boots or purple palazzo pants. Back in my day, the rule was stay away from white, and you’ll be fine.  

And if you stay married, you don’t need to hold hands every second. It’s okay to walk through Times Square with your hands by your side so other people can negotiate pedestrian traffic.  Walking as a couple in a crowd or as a family, five abreast, is obnoxious.  

And when you take your kid on a college tour, I promise, you don’t need to hold hands. The purple-haired, nose-ringed junior is most assuredly not going to report to the admissions office that you seem like a nice family. There will be plenty of time for hand holding once the kid leaves the house.  

I seem to be in a carping mood today.  It’s easier to take on smug couples, many of whom I love, than it is to address our crumbling democracy, over which I have no control. 

Distractions

Snacks

If you feel like giving yourself an extraordinary satisfying treat, go to your nearest diner and order a grilled blueberry muffin with butter.  You can lie to yourself and order bran on the theory that it has a modicum of nutritional value, but nothing tops that manufactured blueberry flavor.  

TV

I am not ashamed to say I really enjoyed the Kate Hudson show on Netflix. She plays a rich person who basically inherits a men’s basketball team. I’m not a sports fan and I’ve never loved Kate Hudson, but the whole thing worked for me. Also, there’s a Hanks kid in it, which I completely appreciate. 

Movie:

I’ve been needing a rom com fix recently, and everything seems to involve time travel. So I recently rewatched A New Leaf with Walter Matthau and Elaine May. She is so funny and doesn’t get her due. 

Books:

I love every novel Maggie Shipstead has written. I think my favorite is A Great Circle, a wonderful saga about the first female aviator. Her writing is stunning and her characters are fascinating. 

Something I Learned:

My friend AJ Jacobs, a wonderfully prolific journalist and writer (check out his stuff) noted on facebook this week that Charles Dickens had a super nerdy sense of humor, even in the devastating A Tale of Two Cities  (the first book to ever make me cry).

Please note on your calendar that our next Ruthless show is March 25th. We’ll be reuniting with Cory Kahaney and a Ruthless favorite, Marina Franklin. Our guest interview is with Gary Greengrass, an Upper Westside fixture and the owner of Barney Greengrass. Buy your tickets here.

We also want to thank everyone for reading our advice column and for submitting questions.  If you need advice on anything, you can contact me here anytime.